Books
Pirate Rats, Purple Cats, and Other Problems
Querying Temporarily on Hold (Because I write faster than I query…)
Middle Grade
Bernadette Shelved suspects something isn’t quite right with her family. Her house is the only one on the street that looks haunted, her father is a librarian who sends letters on parchment rather than text messages, and instead of going to school where she could make friends with the neighborhood kids, Bernadette gets tutored by a retired pirate rat.
When she finally convinces her father to let her go to school, she’s got all the book smarts she needs to ace 5th grade, but not a clue on how to navigate the savages in the cafeteria, how to blow off the teasing without blowing up, or most importantly how to recognize when someone is a friend and when they aren’t.
As the school year progresses, Bernadette is forced to accept that maybe she is weird. But in the end, being a ten is perfect, even if it’s a ten on the weird scale.
Soonie Poplin Breaks A Promise
Currently Querying!
Middle Grade
Soonie Poplin is Pippi Longstocking meets Doctor Doolittle.
Pirate Captain Poplin is lost at sea, so the crew of the Crooked Sail deposits his daughter, Soonie, at her ancestral home in Lesser Pringle to wait for his return.
But there are two things the local Headmistress of the Twinkacetti Boarding School for Hopeless Cases can’t stand, and that’s unsupervised children and big imaginations.
And an imagination as BIG as Soonie’s can’t stay hidden long. So when the Headmistress locks Soonie away in the School for Hopeless Cases, it’s going to take all her creativity (and a little help from the Critters) to be reunited with her father.
Welcome to Everywhere
In the cue to query next!
Middle Grade
Co-written with one of my all-time favorite humans, Jeff Bradley, and based on one of his old pitches for an animated television series. (No fear! Legal has released the IP for us to pursue in novel form.)
Mercury Wells Middle School is located smack-dab in the middle of the multiverse, where space and time are pulled just a little too thin. Seventh-grader Ozzy Hawkes has the ability to manipulate the rifts, but that doesn’t mean he should. When he forgets to do his history project, Ozzy pulls over the real Albert Einstein to help him throw together a presentation. But the portal effect dominos, and soon Ozzy finds himself surrounded by weirdos from other dimensions as he uncovers the principal’s evil plan to become the Almighty Queen of the Multiverse! How is a kid who can’t even keep up with his homework supposed to clean up this mess? He should have just taken the zero…
Do Androids Make Good Wingmen
Currently Drafing!
And now for something completely different… an adult Sci-Fi RomCom
I’m also co-writting this one with the hilariously amazing Jeff Bradley as we channel our inner Douglas Adams. Here is the pitch he gave his buddies at {insert famous animation studio where he works} during one of their critique meetings for side projects.
Milton Roebuck’s poetry has the galaxy hot and bothered. Still, he sees himself as a loser who’s never had a girlfriend, with a nose so big he couldn’t kiss a girl if she wanted. His plan to solve his problems is simple: 1.) Reveal himself at Galactic BookCon in front of millions of adoring fans 2.) Get a girlfriend.
He meets Tormak, an android whose lust emotion is in overdrive, thanks to an ill-advised sex subroutine bought off a late-night infomercial.
Astrid grew up on a resort planet, knowing people are liars and love is a con. Her weak spot is writers. She feels writers are different: they sell their lies as books but reveal their truth on the page.
When Milton falls in insta-love with Astrid on the red carpet, he causes a catastrophe. Milton panics and embraces the ensuing confusion: Of course the swashbuckling android is the sensitive poet, while the quiet, long-nosed man is his assistant.
A puppet for Milton’s words, Tormak takes BookCon by storm. Astrid falls for Tormak/“Milton.” He is deep, honest, and unlike anyone she has met before–even other writers.
Astrid’s doubts grow about Tormak, but her desire for him to be perfect overcomes any growing warmth for Milton.
With a grand gesture, Milton reveals himself and proclaims his love, but Astrid feels deceived. They go their separate ways before Astrid realizes Milton lied about his name, not how he felt. She returns with her own grand gesture. They live happily ever after.
Stu the Duck
Drafted, professionally edited, waiting for revision!
Chapter book
This book is based on the IRL Stu the Whistling Duck who lives at the Busch Wildlife Sanctuary. There’s nothing wrong with the real Stu, per say, except he… doesn’t like other ducks! Stu’s wanderings led him (repeatedly) to the produce section inside the local grocery store, where he’d help himself to endless snack while he chatted with the customers. Multiple attempts were made to reintroduce Stu to the local flock of whistling ducks, but he always found his way back to the grocery store! Turns out, he just prefers the company of humans.
Intended to be a series about finding your people—literally. In the first installment, Stu wanders into town and joins the local elementary school children for field day. Spoiler: His natural talent for ducking helps him win the class a first-place ribbon in dodgeball.
The Tinkers
Outlined, half-drafted, and on the back burner while it simmers a little more
Middle Grade
Think: The Borrowers by Mary Norton meets Charlotte’s Web by EB White meets The Dukes of Hazard television show.